(published @ Mindanao Times, Late 2010)
Whenever people ask me what I do, I tell them that I teach Marketing at the Ateneo de Davao University, and that I write online and in print. But really, that’s not even half of the real story.
The truth is, I organize weddings, debuts and corporate events, run an online gift shop, do marketing and PR consultancy, run a small food processing business, teach Marketing, write for a newspaper, write for magazines, write for websites and write for art’s sake.
Usually, when people really have this full list of all the stuff I do and do on the side, they usually say “What a workaholic!” Every time I hear it, I usually laugh because for me, they might sound a lot, but that’s already a summarized list. I don’t even take up a full time office work because usually I get bored and I felt a little unproductive if I physically stagnate in the office.
I recently came across an online quiz which was entitled “Are you addicted to achievement?” The title struck me but I didn’t dare take the quiz because I knew what it’s going to tell me. That I am a sucker for achievement. For quite sometime, I always felt the need to achieve something, to do something that I think I can do just to prove that I really can do it. However, whenever I ask myself about the fulfillment I feel everytime I finish a task well, deliver great results or simply a Facebook message from a class saying they missed me for the day, I knew all those hard work finally paid off.
But not all women think like me.
There are a lot of women who admit to being workaholics and then losing the “meaning” that they used to see in their professions. What used to be careers simply became jobs, and these situations kept women from self actualizing. I even have close friends who admit to being so burned out in their jobs but then they couldn’t let it go because these jobs were paying the bills. (Mostly, credit card bills. Bah.)
There was a recent study in the USA that showed some positive life fulfillment stats during the recession. It said that there were a lot of women who lost their jobs because of the economic downturn and it made them reconnect with their family again.
“I was always busy, I didn’t have time to think things over. The demands of my job kept me distracted.” This was a quote from Dominique Browning, a once-career woman who lost her job and then realized that she found a different form of fulfillment with spending time with her children. Before, she just used to spend extra time with her office mates because she needed to keep up with their office gossip and other worthless things like celebrity chitchat and fashion updates.
My tip for a lot of career women out there—don’t forget to nurture a great personal life. Go date, party, spend time with your family, read a good book, take vacations once in a while, maintain a healthy lifestyle and most of all, don’t be too dependent on your phones and laptops. Also, remember that the more time you spend with work, the higher your expectations will go. And if you’ve got a sky high expectation but then the reality just fares a little above your head, you’ll only end up frustrated.
It’s also best to take some time alone and just enjoy the company of yourself. Get a massage, curl up with your favorite magazine, watch a much-awaited romantic comedy movie or sci fi documentary…whatever floats your boat. Don’t be like those other women who burn themselves out at work and then when their paychecks arrive, they appease themselves with material things that are oftentimes useless. Be a smart spender—of time and money. Invest in the right things. Great investments also make you feel fulfilled.
So if you ever find yourself getting addicted to achievement again, simply reassess your goals. See if it’s worth all the pressure. Put your happiness and fulfillment at the top of the list.
