When I was working as a front desk, I had a boss I really didn’t get along with very well. She admitted that she really has a short temper and that it is highly likely that she would pour all her frustrations and angst on me because, I was, after all, her executive assistant. Yes, kinda like that alalay with a blazer. And a bachelor's degree.
There were days when she’d start the day scolding me; noticing the littlest things in the office no one goes to except me anyway. It was very difficult because during most days, we would clash, but then I was forced to smile and act cheerful despite how I felt. I was manning the front desk, after all. I quit after a month and a half, and my career has been so much better since.
Now that I’m more than happy with where I am and what I do, I still find myself getting a tad too emotional about work. It made me realize, was I really too emotional about work? Are women too emotional at work?
I read somewhere that there’s something called a Workplace Emotion Evaluation Profile. (Funny, it’s acronym is even WEEP.) The WEEP is a tool to help people take care of their levels of “emotional resiliency”. It asks questions that try to measure your capacity to be emotional at any given time of the day and cross references it to how you deal with work issues and home issues. It also teaches one how to deal with very strong emotions like sympathy, fear, anger or anxiety. For the one who finds herself getting too emotional, she can start by asking herself about the common things that usually gets her very emotional, and how these affect work.
A topnotch career coach and psychologist, Anne Kreamer, advises to keep in mind the acronym DING when dealing with workplace-related emotions. First, “take Deep breaths, Imagine what the other person is feeling, Name those emotions and, Go on”. She says it is important to take that moment to reflect and put yourself in another person’s shoes. Afterwards, learn to move on and move forward since there is so much room for more productivity anyway.
I say that DING is, by far, the best advice that I have read. It has helped me get over the stuff that stress me out. Most of the things that I deal with when it comes to work (events management) are people who are very hard to get along with and things (out of my control) that screw all my plans up.
If you ask me, maybe the top reasons why women oftentimes get too emotional at work (or be judged as such) is because women are generally more sensitive and we pick up the stimuli that most men don’t. We are more keen to detail and, sadly, we are even the harsher critics of workplace emotion. I admit, when I used to see a female co-worker crying, I see her as weak and I am irritated by the situation because I think she perpetuates the stereotype of women in the workplace tagged as weak. Moreover, women are more pressured for perfection and women are burdened with so many expectations in order to be labeled “successful”. (But don’t let me do all the ranting here. This is not a feminist column after all, hehe.)
Love,
Your New PR Girl
